Home Relationships Managing Dominant Men: Empowering Strategies for Women Dealing with Bullies

Managing Dominant Men: Empowering Strategies for Women Dealing with Bullies

Managing Dominant Men Empowering Strategies for Women Dealing with Bullies

He was indeed a catch; charismatic, alluring, intellectual, amusing, and considerate. He always had just the right words to make you feel unique. He was your ideal man until he wasn’t anymore. Until he morphed into one of those domineering types. This transformation didn’t occur immediately. Initially, you perceived his attention and assistance as signs of him wanting what was best for you. He projected the image of a strong, decisive individual who spoke his mind.

However, over time, his seemingly innocuous suggestions and friendly advice transformed into harsh judgments and directives. His charm turned into manipulation, with his kindness becoming conditional based on you following his lead. The guy you once saw as perfect is, in fact, an autocrat who insists everything be done his way or not at all. You’ve now observed the early signs of an overbearing man.

This man uses a plethora of psychological strategies to ensure that you fall into line with his wishes or face the consequences. These repercussions may range from ultimatums, manipulation, and threats to shaming, blaming, and shutting you down.

We all have our unique relationship needs and desires. We have formed our behavior systems, opinions, beliefs, and assumptions based on experiences way before meeting our partners. When we become part of a duo, it’s common to hope that our partners perceive the world similarly to us. Often, we consciously or subconsciously try to convince our partners that our way is the best way. But when does this become an issue? How can we identify when our partner’s persuasions cross into controlling territory?

Here are some questions to ask yourself to discern this:

  • If you contradict him, do you fear that he will retaliate?
  • Is your input or feelings usually ignored or dismissed by your partner?
  • Have you started to amend your viewpoints or beliefs to align with his?
  • Do you observe a significant loss of your independence?
  • Do you withhold your thoughts for fear of causing his anger?
  • Are you in a state of perpetual over-analysis due to self-doubt and uncertainty about what’s acceptable in a relationship?
  • Does he treat you more like an inferior than an equal partner?
    Have you lost touch with your identity or sense of self?

If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, it means your man is overly dominating.

Dominating men are not always the aggressive characters you encounter in films who shout and hurl threats to achieve their objectives. They could very well be soft-spoken individuals living next door or cordial, well-educated social butterflies. They can hail from any societal or economic background.

However, they all share a common need for dominance and the compulsion to exercise that control in their intimate relationships. They are skilled at deceiving even the smartest, most accomplished women, only to expose their true personalities once the woman is emotionally invested or has married him.

Understanding whether you’re dealing with an excessively assertive man who seeks control is often confusing. Perhaps, you have questioned if his demeanor is just a standard part of dynamic relationships.

We all exhibit some controlling behavior at times, but it’s crucial to identify signs of a controlling husband or boyfriend that indicate the behavior is more than just occasional.

This information shouldn’t get communicated in a manner to terrify you about any controlling men in your life. The aim is to arm you with the knowledge to identify common traits of such men and equip you with the tools to deal with them.

The crucial question is what causes men to exercise control? Some common reasons include traumatizing past experiences, current or past experiences of control, feelings of insecurity or low self-esteem, a fear of feeling “out of control”, and a need to assert superiority over another.

While the reasons behind this behavior may evoke empathy, they cannot justify it. Past traumas and lack of confidence do not entitle a person to impose control over you. It’s their accountability to seek healing in order to partake in a healthy relationship.

After recognizing this problematic trait in your partner, the next crucial questions would be: is any change possible and how can you cope with this situation?

Opting to remain in the relationship or to leave is a challenging decision involving numerous conflicting emotional considerations like fear, low self-esteem, and unhealthy attachment issues, coupled with practical reasons, particularly if children are involved.

Remember, your emotional and mental health are crucial. The more you are subjected to controlling behavior, the more the toll it takes on your confidence and self-esteem, making it increasingly difficult for you to assert yourself.

You deserve a supportive partner who validates your self-worth and treats you as an equal in the relationship. You have the right to your own decisions, actions, viewpoints, and beliefs. Don’t get misled by a dominating man’s attempt to subjugate you. Acknowledge the situation for what it is and empower yourself.

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